Calming Sea-Salt Ice Cream

Obligatory friend-lock post

2009-01-12T20:20:15Z

After a series of events, I've decided to friend-lock this journal. Not that anyone beside the people who are already on my list probably even CARE, of course, but it's just easier this way. Any future sporkings I do will probably be made public, but that's probably going to be it. If you feel you MUST see the daily goings-on of my life, comment on this entry and ask to Friend me; random requests will be denied.

The (hopefully) final chapter!

2008-12-10T18:03:26Z

Yes, valued readers, I bring what may be the last chapter of The One I Love.

Greetings, everyone, and welcome to what I suspect is the final chapter of The One I Love. I used an old account to review this one since she blocked my main FF.net account, and even with the fact that I was far less harsh on her, the fact that I dared question her writing ability seems to have made her drop this. I guess that's one less monstrosity for the world to deal with! Enjoy.
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The One I Love - Chapter 3: Ranger Union VS. Team Dim Sun

Kellyn’s P.O.V.

Keith had yelled a slim warning before attacking me. I should’ve saw this coming. He tackled me with A LOT of force. It hurt. I threw a punch at him, nailing him in the shoulder. He stood up and came at me again after I had struggled to my feet. He was about to tackle me again, all this over a girl, when Sweetie jumped in front of me. He stopped dead in fears of hitting her. She had her arms stretched out and everything, blocking me the best she possibly could with such a skinny body.

Who the hell is she, Pocahontas?

What I saw next amazed me. Sweetie flat-out kicked Keith where no boy ever wants to be kicked.

His pride?

He fell to his knees and Sweetie turned her nose up and walked off. I stared. She wasn’t as defenseless as she looked with such a scrawny body. Wow.

Only not-so-much wow.

I darted after her, realizing she would leave me completely if I didn’t. And I didn’t feel comfortable with Keith anymore. All this over a girl. I caught up with her easily.

“Sweetie, you’re not as helpless as you look.”, I said, smiling as I walked beside her.

Like I said, not-so-much wow. It doesn't take much to realize kicking a guy in his crotch=instant KO.

“Oh? You thought I was helpless?”, Sweetie said, turning to face me and her voice a little angry-sounding.

“Please don’t kick me!”, I pleaded, hoping she wasn’t thinking that.

Hoping she was thinking of kicking you?

“I kicked Keith for defense. I’m too gentle and sweet-natured to hurt someone who hasn’t done anything but take me for helpless.”, Sweetie replied.

“Well, you’re certainly a good ranger, since you’ve become a Top Ranger now.

But that begs the question: WHY? If we're going by Kellyn being the player character, then he helped crash a cargo ship and saved dozens of Pokemon. Keith single-handedly took down the Fiore chapter of Team Dim Sun. What does that even leave Sweetie to do?

The cut text proves that this author knows nothing about realistic strength limits!

Keith caught up to us, still showing signs of pain.

“You kick……………………really hard……………………………..”, Keith said.

“I know.”, Sweetie replied simply before setting off again.

Not that she's immodest or anything!

I could already tell, this chick was no one to mess with.

When did a baby chicken enter the picture?

Under that sweet, adorable nature, she was a feisty one. I had never met a girl who could honestly kick a boulder and make it shatter. Not bad. Not bad at all. While I pondered over Sweetie and her varying natures, we arrived at the edge of the cliffs. A few Team Dim Sun grunts were gathered around, no doubt waiting on us.

I doubt it. They have 'dim' in their organization name for a reason.

“We’ve been waiting on you, rangers. I’m sure you’ll really enjoy failure.”, one of them snapped.

One of the Dim Sun grunts began pecking on the keys of a computer.

I'm not sure pecking is the word that should've been used here...

Much to my surprise, three Arcanine attacked us. Sweetie was already trying to capture one of them on my right, Keith doing the same on my left. I began trying to capture the final one. Arcanine are powerful Pokemon, and they don’t kid around. One blast of powerful fire can easily break your Capture Styler if you aren’t careful.

Actually, no. Even the final boss can't break your Styler with one attack. Canon? Pah.

Keith’s P.O.V.

I was busy capturing one of the Team Dim Sun’s Arcanine.

It's like a flash-back!

It was hard, even for a top ranger, to capture an enraged Arcanine.

*opens mouth, then closes it, shaking her head*

I was also busy staring at Sweetie, who had already completed her capture and the Arcanine she had captured had fled from the scene.

So she breaks even her own canon for the sole purpose of making Sweetie look good. That takes some kind of talent. I'm just not sure what kind.

Kellyn was in-between us, trying to capture another one of the Arcanine. My foolish move of staring at her for a few moments cost me a lot of damage to my styler. I turned back to my capture.

Another blast of fire spurted my direction. I tried to move my styler, but the flames hit the Capture Line. Ugh, my styler was nearly out of energy.

Jesus, his Styler must be, like, level five...

Kellyn had completed his capture. The two other rangers were watching me struggle with a mere Arcanine. Sweetie’s eyebrow was raised and Kellyn looked a little confused. I was confused too. Why couldn’t I capture something like an Arcanine easily!?

But according to earlier in the fic, Arcanine is a hard capture! My brain hurts...

Finally, I managed and the giant Pokemon bounded away. We all three turned to where the Dim Sun grunts had been, but they were gone now.

“Keith, that was pathetic. You should be able to capture something like an Arcanine easily without doing any damage to your styler. You should work on your skills or the Ranger Union will kick you out.”, Kellyn said.

...I really have nothing to say.

Sweetie’s P.O.V.

Keith is pathetic. He can hardly capture an Arcanine. Kellyn did it really easily, like I did, and I thought it was a little impressive.

It's like Sweetie's characterization changes at the drop of a hat so that she can react appropriately in any given situation! ...nah, that's silly.

After a short argument, we began climbing up more cliffs using sturdy vines. The wind was picking up, and the cold air was making me shiver. Despite that, I was the first one to the top of the next ledge.

Of course.

I wasn’t surprised to see a bunch of Dim Sun grunts waiting for us. Kellyn and Keith stood up beside me and we got ready.

“You might’ve managed out of it last time, but not this time.”, one of the grunts declared.

That same grunt began messing with the keys on a computer-like machine and nine Luxray attacked us, three to each of us. Piece of cake.

*headdesk*

I began my capture. Electric sparks were flying all over the place and a thunderbolt struck the ground beside me, rarely missing both me and my Capture Line.

Rarely? So there were a lot of thunderbolts and most of them actually struck her? W00t!

I captured one of the Luxray. Kellyn had already captured two. Impressive. I finally managed the other two. Kellyn finished his capture first, then me, and then slow Keith. Just like last time, we turned to look to where the grunt was, but they were all gone.

After three more attempts to stop us by Dim Sun grunts, we reached the top of the cliffs. I froze in place. Kellyn and Keith were dead stopped too, staring ahead of us. I was staring too. This wasn’t your everyday sighting.

A beacon of canon in a sea of badfic?

Three Dim Sun people were standing before us with computers. And, in-between the circle of Dim Wit grunts, there were three legendary psychic-type Pokemon: Mesprit, Uxie, and Azelf. That’s what startled us.

The rest of this chapter (or until I get bored with it) will be mocked using Lolberts. And here's the first!

The Dim Sun people didn’t even say anything, they just typed something into their computer-like things and the three Pokemon attacked without warning. Uxie attacked Keith, Mesprit attacked me, and Azelf attacked Kellyn. I began the capture. Pachirisu looked ready to help on my shoulder. One psychic-type attack hit my Capture Line and did some serious damage.

“Pachirisu, Thunderbolt!”, I demanded.

Pachirisu jumped from my shoulder and spurted electricity into the air from it’s yellow cheeks. The lightning struck the ground and Mesprit. I took it to my advantage. I managed to easily capture the paralyzed Pokemon. It shook it’s pink head a few times and fled. Kellyn and Keith were staring at me. Had it really been that impressive. Now, I figured while they were capturing, I would take care of the Dim Sun dim wits.

Kellyn used a few attacks from Eevee and managed to capture Azelf, who shook it’s head to clear it’s thoughts and fled. Keith managed to capture Uxie after a lot of help from Buizel.

N00b.

Good. We had managed to capture the legendary trio easier than we captured Luxrays and Arcanines. But, the Dim Sun people were long gone. The only thing remaining from them were the shattered remains of the exploded computers.

“Wow, Sweetie, that was amazing.”, Keith said.

Kellyn’s P.O.V.

ORLY?

I nearly choked. Keith leaned down and tried to get his lips on Sweetie’s to kiss her. She smacked him right upside the head, turned her nose up, and walked off. He was rubbing the cheek she slapped harshly, looking embarrassed. Sweetie looked just angry now, not the sweet-natured girl we had seen earlier.

Pachirisu was chattering angrily at Keith now, even though he had no idea what the squirrel was complaining about.

“I think we should head back to the Ranger Union. This is the top of the cliffs and we did what we could. We should tell the other rangers about Dim Sun escaping us for now.”, Keith suggested.

“What? I’m not giving up and going home until that society is destroyed. I think we should check the lower cliffs. There’s a cavern down there that they could hide in until we leave. I’ve been there before. I think they’re trying to fool us into leaving.”, Sweetie said.

“You know, that’s smart of you, Sweetie.”, I commented.

“Thanks.”, Sweetie replied, smiling sweetly and winking at me.

Sweetie walked up to me, slipped her arms around my neck, and hugged me. I felt a bright red, hot blush sting my face. I blushed brighter as she tucked her head against my neck and began nuzzling my neck and nudging under my chin with her nose. It was a little bit wolfish, but I could tell it was to show affection towards me. I put my arms around her waist and hugged her back quickly.

“I think we should get going.”, I suggested.

“Okay.”, Sweetie replied.

Dammit, I need more macros...

Sweetie turned me loose and we began climbing back down. I noticed Sweetie was being extremely cautious. I didn’t know if it was because the cliffs were slippery and easy to slip on, or if it was because she was not enjoying being around Keith. But, she managed to make it all the way down to the bottom of the cliffs without sliding. She signaled for Keith and I to be quiet as she lead us towards a rather hidden area of the cliffs.

Sweetie’s P.O.V.

Aw, Kellyn is so cute. But Keith is dang annoying.

Even Stephen Colbert has run out of appropriate things to say at this point.

Blah blah, they climb, whatever.

“I just got an idea. A show-stopper idea too.

Please tell me she isn't going to sing Give My Regards to Broadway.

I know exactly how to keep those goons on there until help arrives, or in this case, police officers and more rangers.”, I said, smiling.

There was a silence.

You know, it's been bugging me. Why were several goons clearly belonging to Team Dim Sun able to scale the mountain completely undetected by the Ranger Union right next door, or even the police? And with three legendary Pokemon to boot! They say the authorities are incompetant in badfic, but that's just stupid.

I figured I should break it.

“The rocks right above that cavern are extremely fragile and a good shaking would make them drop over the entrance and cover it completely.”, I hinted.

“So?”, Keith questioned.

“And with a PokeAssist………………………..”, I hinted again, making ‘come on’ motions with my hand.

“So?”, Keith replied again.

'So' is the wrong form. He's actually telling her to shut the hell up and go sew or something.

“Use an Earthquake PokeAssist on the ground beneath the area. The rocks will fall, cover the entrance, and trap those fools inside the cavern. Help can

arrive. The team will come to an end once they’re in jail. Get it now?”, I explained.

No, because there's no such flipping THING as an earthquake PokeAssist. The Ground Poke-Assist turns up gravel in the fight area to slow down a Pokemon for easier capture, the rock poke-assist flicks gravel to help speed up filling the friendship bar. OH WAIT SHE MEANS FIELD MOVE.

Still doesn't exist. Fucking weeaboo.

“Clever. That’s really clever, Sweetie.”, Kellyn commented, smiling.

Keith nodded, apparently surprised at my cleverness. Kellyn nodded and ran off somewhere. Great, he left me with Keith, who immediately approached me after

Kellyn had ran off. He slipped his arms around my waist and attempting kissing me again, but I moved my head and smacked him again. He kept his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my chest bone, looking up at me.

...what the hell. That's all I can say at this point.

“Get away from me.”, I said, failing to sound aggressive.

Keith was attempting to kiss me again by then, and I once more moved my head. Pachirisu and Buizel had went with Kellyn for one reason or another.

*carefully steps over the plothole*

I cried out angrily. I smacked Keith again. Kellyn came back with a Rampardos then. He took in the scene quickly and approached us. Keith turned to him and released me.

“Leave her alone.”, Kellyn warned.

Not able to resist doing so, I walked to Kellyn and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Geeze, this really IS high school. Holy crap.

I gave him a few affectionate nudges under his chin before I began nuzzling his neck.

And she's apparently a cat.

I tried to pack as much meaning as possible into the nuzzles and nudges, but I might’ve failed to do so. That’s like trying to shove the massive Rampardos that stood among us now I into a tiny box or something. I stopped after awhile. Kellyn was blushing furiously. I blushed too and Keith raised an eyebrow.

“So, shouldn’t we try to finish this now?”, Keith asked.

He's awfully calm for just being brutally cockblocked. It's like his characterization changes at the drop of a hat to fit the situation! *pause* Nah, that's still stupid.

I could tell Keith was jealous of the affection and attention I was giving Kellyn. I began to worry. Because of me, I had not only broke up a tight friendship, but I might have put Kellyn in danger. Keith was bigger than Kellyn, probably stronger too. He might try to hurt Kellyn in hopes of winning my heart, even though doing such a thing would make me kick him you-know-where again. I took Kellyn’s hand and lead them over to the area where the cavern entrance was again.

...they're, like, twelve. I mean, in this fic, not canonically. I bet they haven't even hit puberty yet. What.the.hell.

“Hurry and get this over with. I want to go back to the union. I’m tired after all this.”, I mumbled.

With that, Kellyn nodded and began pecking on his Capture Styler’s keys.

So Sweetie's a cat and Kellyn's a bird. So would that make Keith some kind of bird of prey that could get rid of them all?

The Rampardos stamped on the ground hard and an earthquake began to shake the earth. I nearly fell over and Keith did, quickly jumping back to his feet. The rocks above the cavern entrance fell and blocked the front completely. The captured Rampardos was automatically released, running off again. Kellyn smiled his thanks to it as it left. Keith was busy calling the union to ask for a police unit. Much to my surprise, snow began to fall around us, making me shiver.

Gee. They're high on a mountain, in the middle of winter. Yep, snow is totally unexpected!

“It’s about Christmas, isn’t it?”, Kellyn questioned.

“Yeah, it’s about five or six days from now.”, I replied.

“There’s a party for all of Almia’s Pokemon Rangers tomorrow at the Ranger Union. Are you planning on coming?”, Kellyn asked me.

“Yeah. I’d love to.”, I replied with a sweet smile.

She acts like he was inviting her. If it were the real Kellyn, he wouldn't put up with this bullcrap. He'd lock and motherfucking LOAD. Yes the swearing is required. He's that badass.

After the police had arrived and arrested Team Dim Sun, all of the pesky dim wits, and we had re-cleared the cavern entrance, we all flew walked back to the Ranger Union.

...flew walked.

Keith kept trying to hold my hand, but I walked away from him each time. I didn’t like this Keith guy, he was driving me crazy. I was excited

about the party tomorrow though. We got the entire day off, no matter what. That was rare, even though Almia was returning to it’s peaceful state. After we

arrived, all of us fell asleep quickly in our rooms. We all slept like rocks.

Which is about your intelligence level, so I guess it fits.

Part two of this monstrosity

2008-12-02T03:34:11Z

And I bring you chapter two of Mightyena26's proudest accomplishment.

Today I have a one-and-a-fraction feature. You see, Mightyena26, probably enraged over the fact that I was not yielding to her and writing fanfics for the Pokemon Ranger fandom that were at least more coherent, seems to have sent one of her lackies after me. They reviewed my newest fic, Almia's Shadows and Light, an adapt of Shadows of Almia. Never mind that I had another fic that has six chapters now, they wanted to flame me on my newest one that had one chapter and was put up the same day!

Well, what does any decent person do to an anon reviewer who doesn't leave their e-mail but give it the mocking treatment? Afterwards is the actual next chapter of The One I love. Enjoy, everyone!
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Eh. I've seen better, but I've seen worse. What bothered me greatly was
this:
“That is a School Styler,” said the man who had handed it to her. “It
is the special weapon used by Team School. Use it well.” He backed away,
only to be smacked on the head." Smacked in the head by who? Shouldn't you
clarify that?

Mind you, this isn't so bad, except for the part where it IS clarified in the next paragraph. But get a load of this:

Oh, and I happen to be a BIG fan of Mightyena26's fanfics,

Uh-huh...

so I must say, I was VERY disappointed with how you acted. I'm well aware that you're perfectly
entitled to dislike her story,

No, if you're reviewing me for the sole purpose of bitching me out, you really aren't.

but when she saw your "harsh critique" as a
flame, you countered by giving her A REAL FLAME.

No, I gave her an EXAMPLE of a real flame. There's a difference.

That's... kind of stupid.

So's threatening to report anyone who breathes a single word about how bad your stories really are. An eye for an eye, eh?

Oh, and even "harsh critiques" need to mention SOME good points, because if there
aren't any mentioned, you really put down the author.

You know that US thing about seperation of church and state? There's a law in writing called seperation of author and story. Learn about it some day.

I'd LOVE to PM you about
this, like you asked on your profile, but I have no account here, so I can't.
Deal with it.

Dealt with, sweetie. Now on to the actual story!

The One I Love - Chapter 2: Peril Cliffs

Sweetie’s P.O.V.

I hated Peril Cliffs. I was actually pretty scared to get around them, because when I was only 11-years old,

A whole year ago!

I was climbing on the cliffs during the winter and the rocks were slippery, the cliffs were slick with snow and ice, and the vines weren’t sturdy. I had slid on a ledge after a vine broke and fallen nearly three miles down before hitting the ground and breaking my leg.

That not... physically possible. Three miles would've crushed her entire skeletal frame to dust, methinks.

That experience always made me very hesitant to climb the cliffs, even though I always did when I needed to.

More rambling about her hating the cliffs. What-the-hell-ever.

Keith’s P.O.V.

Ugh, I hated Kellyn. We were best friends for such a long time, and now he does something like this to betray me.

What, being the hormonal TEENAGER (yes, I said it, he is NOT TWELVE) he is?

He’s trying to steal that hot ranger girl named Sweetie, I know it, I can tell.

Steal is such a strong word.

On the way up here on the Staraptor, she clung to him like a frightened Growlithe puppy would during a thunderstorm. And he had smiled and blushed when she did it, so I knew he enjoyed it. After the ride was over, I took him to the sidelines for a quick talk.

“The ranger girl is mine.”, I said sternly.

Slavery was abolished in the 1800's, hon.

“And what if she doesn’t like you, Keith? You can’t force her to fall in love with you. She’s not taking a quick liking to you or anything. And that move of your’s earlier obviously made her nervous and uneasy.”, Kellyn snapped back at me.

What move? Did I miss something here?

“So? She doesn’t have to love me, for me to love her. I’m obviously a lot stronger than she is. I could hold her down and do as I please to her.”, I snapped.

If I had to rate Keith's in-characterness on a scale of one-ten, it would probably be NEGATIVE NINE-THOUSAAAAND.

“Keith, you used to be a kind, considerate boy that would make a wonderful ranger. But, you’ve let your strength and skills get in the way. You’re a freak now. You can’t just do something to such an innocent and sweet girl that she doesn’t approve of.”, Kellyn said calmly.

He's a bigger person than I am. I would've said "Fuck you and your little otter, too!"

Without even glancing back at Buizel and me, Kellyn walked off with Eevee clinging to his shoulder. He checked one of the stronger vines and began climbing upward. I realized Sweetie was already at the top, waiting for us patiently. Kellyn was halfway there. Ugh, he was going to get there before me, and say something to her. I knew it.

Keith: Just because I'm paranoid does not mean they're not out to get me!

But, I still began climbing as quickly as I could without even checking the vine’s strength.

Kellyn’s P.O.V.

I reached the top of Peril Cliffs, where Sweetie was waiting patiently for me. She smiled at me. Her smile was gorgeous, extremely sweet and friendly.

We get it. Sweetie is sweet. Shut the hell up already!

I understood why she was called Sweetie, even if I thought that wasn’t her real name, just a nickname.

How does he even know that? I only know that because I read the previous story that has nothing even to do with this!

The name suited her. I walked over to her and returned her sweet smile with my own.

Unfortunately, he didn't have the reciept.

“I’m going to go ahead and warn you, Keith likes you. He’s extremely strong, even stronger than I am. He could easily hold you down and hurt you if he wanted to. Keith used to be such a kind boy that all the girls liked, but now he’s just an arrogant jerk. Watch your back. And I’ll protect you if he tries anything. He thinks he can do as he pleases to you, just because he likes you, even if you don’t like him back. Be careful.”, I warned, realizing how stupid I sounded afterwards.

That was a whole lot of character bashing for one paragraph. Nice going, Mightyena26!

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll have to be careful.”, Sweetie replied.

Keith had almost reached the top of the cliffs by now, but he still had a little ways. Just as he reached the top, Sweetie looked around a little while before planting a light kiss on my cheek very quickly. I thought Keith was going to drop dead or something. He looked enraged. Sweetie blushed and turned her head. I smiled just a little and blushed as well.

“That is it!”, I heard Keith’s voice shout.

And that was the only warning I received.

I wish I had been warned. This fic seems to have been written for the sole purpose of trying to enrage me because I put on my FanFiction profile that I support Kate/Keith. Nice.

A fanfic sporking, for your amusement

2008-11-26T19:59:05Z

I'm sitting in my town's library right now, and thought I'd whip-up something for you all to enjoy! This is a multi-chaptered fic, so expect more in the future

Today we have a Pokemon Ranger fic. But not just any Pokemon Ranger fic. This is one by the author known as Mightyena26. I reviewed the previous fic of this nature that she had written with a long list of suggestions, none of which she seems to have followed (not even the one where I told her that the girl hero in Shadows of Almia is named Kate and should be called as such). She review-replied, but I didn't bother reading it after seeing this because I knew that it wouldn't be worth the effort if she didn't follow any of my advice. So, the kid gloves have been taken off, people.
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The One I Love - Chapter 1: Team Dim Sun Returns

Kellyn’s P.O.V.

I miss povs... no, wait, that was pogs.

The dim winter sunlight shining through my window woke me up at 8:37 am on a Monday morning. My eyes quickly adjusted to the light seeping in through the bedroom window. I stretched and yawned before getting up and walking into my bathroom. Quick as possible, I took a shower and changed into my Ranger Union uniform. I quickly combed through my unruly light brown hair, which was standing up in the same directions is always did.

I have the oddest feeling that this should be a list or... or SOMETHING.

More yawn-worthy description, including telling us that, GUESS WHAT?!, a Shadows of Almia-based fanfic takes place in Almia. Ground-breaking stuff right here.

“Good morning, Kellyn!”, a blonde-haired girl named Rhythmi greeted me.

“Morning, Rhythmi.”, I replied, smiling at her.

“Need your styler recharged before you set out?”, she offered.

No wonder my professors kept saying I was missing commas yesterday; SHE STOLE THEM ALL!

“Nah, I think I’m good.”, I said.

“Well, good luck.”, Rhythmi said, smiling.

With that, I walked to the escalator and went down on it.

WHOA! Did I miss the creepy fetishes warning?

This brought me to the second floor, where there were two rooms among a much larger one. I was about to walk down the other escalator when I heard a voice behind me greet me in the familiar voice I had been hearing since I was 11-years old in the Almia region’s Ranger School. I turned and smiled at my good friend, Keith, who had been with me ever since then.

They had sent a request into Acme for the superglue solvent, but it hadn't come yet.

“Hey, Kellyn!”, Keith greeted me.

“What’s up, Keith?”, I greeted in return.

“Nothing much. Professor Hastings needs to speak to us about one thing or another. Hurry up.”, Keith said before dashing off.

I sighed at how hasty Keith always was. We were both thirteen and a half years old now, and he was still as hasty as ever.

But is he HASTY? It's not quite clear yet. Maybe if you go to the top of Altru Tower and shout it, that might make it a bit clearer.

With Eevee still clinging to my shoulder, I walked through the automatic doors to the room where meetings were always held and such.

Um, what else can you do with meetings? Feed them? Give them a nickname?

Professor Hastings was waiting for me there, Keith and his Buizel standing together not too far off.

“Good morning, Kellyn.”, the old professor greeted me.

“Morning, sir.”, I replied, my voice full of respect.

*silently points back to the Kellyn/escalator passage* His mouth is full of something else, though.

“Keith and Kellyn, there is someone here I wish for you to meet.”, Professor Hastings said, smiling.

Keith and I both looked around, our partners doing the same, but there was no one else in sight. The only three people in the room were the professor and us two.

Dammit, Hastings is going senile!

“Come on in, Sweetie.”, Professor Hastings said into his old, worn-out Capture Styler.

“Roger that, sir.”, a female’s sweet, soothing voice replied through the speaker.

Extremely innacurate and incoherent description of Kate ensues. Joana falls asleep halfway-through and decides to just cut it.

“Keith and Kellyn, this is Sweetie Davis. She became a Top Ranger late last night after she did a very important mission extremely well. She’s probably a better ranger than the two of you put together. She’ll be one of your fellow Top Rangers from here on out.”, Professor Hastings announced.

She made Kate a canon-sue. Will I have to choke a bitch?

“I’m Kellyn.”, I said, gazing at the sexy girl before me.

I told her in the first story that she shouldn't describe Kate (or *sporfles* "Sweetie") as pretty in the narration. I'm missing pretty now.

“And I’m Keith.”, Keith introduced himself.

Now, while Keith wasn’t showing it as much as me, I could tell he was liking what he saw. Sweetie was very attractive. Some mix of rage and jealousy swept through my body.

Or maybe it was something else that I'm not allowed to mention in a PG-rated sporking...

I also felt a little sad for Rhythmi. I knew she adored Keith and wanted him to like her very badly.

Yeah, you just keep saying that.

But, he was clueless to her affection and didn’t know she liked him, therefore he didn’t love her back. Eevee, wagging it’s fluffy tail, leaped off my shoulder and bounded over to her, jumping onto her free shoulder, Pachirisu sitting on the other one.

That is a LOT of comma splices right there.

“Why, hello there. What a little cutie!”, Sweetie gushed.

Sweetie gently scratched under Eevee’s chin and Pachirisu began chattering with it. Both of them seemed so friendly.

“You know, when I was a really young girl, I had an Eevee. But, she got old and died when I was only three.”, Sweetie said, her voice sounding slightly saddened.

Let me know when I should start caring.

There was a long silence. After about five minutes, Professor Hastings broke the silence.

“Now, I called you all three in here this morning not so that Sweetie could blush because two guys were staring at her, but because I have some bad news. Almost overnight, Team Dim Sun has returned.

I've heard of over-night sensations, but that's a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you say?

They are most likely seeking revenge on the Ranger Union for destroying the team in the first place. I’ve already sent out three patrols to look for signs of them. I sent a fourth one as well, and they have returned. They say that there were signs of the team up on Peril Cliffs. I wish for you three to journey as a team to the cliffs and destroy the team once more before they grow too strong and large again. Get going right away, children.”, Professor Hastings explained.

“Sir, yes, sir.”, all three of us rangers said in unison.

What is this, the army?

With that, we all three

We three kings?

set out the automatic doors of the room, Professor Hastings watched us go. We walked out the front doors of the Ranger Union Headquarters. There were two Starraptor flying around outside, low to the ground. While Keith and I kept walking, Sweetie paused.

“Hey, guys, don’t you think it would be a lot quicker to ride to the cliffs on a Starraptor.”, Sweetie suggested.

I paused. Why didn’t I think of that?

Because you've been hypnotized by the author insert who looks vaguely like Kate, that's why.

She was right.

“Great idea.”, I said.

“Wait, there’s only two of them here. Hey, Sweetie, wanna ride with me?”, Keith asked, slipping his arm around Sweetie’s shoulders.

*slaps with a folding fan* Bad touch!

“I think I’ll ride with Kellyn.”, Sweetie said, blushing and acting uneasy now.

With that, Keith and I both captured a Starraptor very easily. We were really great rangers by now, so we could’ve caught these two Starraptor in our sleep.

Well. At least she didn't have Sweetie capture them at the same time with one eye closed.

After capturing them, we climbed onto their backs. I offered Sweetie my hand, which she took, smiling and blushing a little. I pulled her onto Starraptor behind me and we took off. Sweetie nearly fell off in the first five minutes, and I blushed at what she did next.

*muttering* Must keep PG, must keep PG...

Sweetie’s P.O.V.

Kellyn is so sweet. He’s adorable too. But that Keith guy……………..

He's a bloated ellipses?

he’s a little on the weird side. Professor Hastings warned me he was arrogant. Anyways, we were now riding to Peril Cliffs on Starraptors. I nearly fell off in the first five minutes, which would’ve cost me my life.

If she's such a good Ranger, why is she falling off Starraptors like a twat?

So, I wrapped my arms around Kellyn’s waist from behind him, blushing while doing so. Keith, who was flying beside us, looked VERY jealous. I knew he had already fallen for me. And I didn’t want him to. We landed after ten minutes of flying at the foot of the cliffs. Oh Arcecus, here we go again.

Indeed, not-Kate. Indeed.

Movie Soundtrack Meme!

2008-11-03T18:09:18Z

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits - Lay All Your Love On Me (A*Teens)

Waking Up - Invisible (Taylor Swift)

First Day at School - Sunrise (PUffy Ami Yumi)

Falling in Love - Everywhere (Michelle Branch)

Fight Song - Amnesia (Takeharu Ishimoto)

Breaking Up - I Hope You Dance (Leeann Womack)

Prom - Forest Haven (Zelda Reorchestrated Team)

Life is Good - Throwdown (Andre "3000" Benjamin)

Mental Breakdown - The Mirror (Angel of Music) (Phantom of the Opera broadway soundtrack)

Driving - How You Remind Me (Nickleback)

Flashback - Sanctuary (Utada Hikaru)

Getting Back Together - Our Song (Taylor Swift)

Wedding - I Am (Hilary Duff)

Paying the Dues - Since You Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)

The Night Before the War - Mamma Mia (Mamma Mia! movie soundtrack)

Final Battle - Twister (SAWA)

Moment of Triumph - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Green Day)

Death Scene - Before He Cheats (Carrie Underwood)

Funeral Song - These Days (Chantal Kreviazuk)

End Credits - A Thousand Miles (Vanessa Carlton)

Some rather... interesting choices there, wouldn't you say?

A video of me

2008-10-27T19:57:25Z

Yes, that's me. I r pathetic X_X Oh, well.

Character sheet: Cameron

2008-10-25T04:56:50Z

As many of you ~~probably don't~~ know, I have an epically long and growing story on FictionPress called That's Life. Consdering I have no life, I found a really long character sheet and decided to fill it out for the boys.

Character Chart
Character’s full name: Cameron Benjamin Nile
Reason or meaning of name: Random name on my part, but Cameron apparently is Scottish and means “bent nose”
Character’s nickname: Cam, Cam-Cam
Reason for nickname: laziness, mostly J
Birth date: January 20’th

Physical appearance
Age: 18
How old does he/she appear: about that
Height: 5’9
Body build: he’s sort of skinny and not all that muscular
Eye color: Blue
Glasses or contacts: neither
Skin tone: light
Hair color: blonde
Hairstyle: perpetual semi-bed head
Voice: Loud, usually
Overall attractiveness: has been described as a “pretty-boy”
Physical disabilities: none
Usual fashion of dress: whatever he can pull out of his closet first

Personality
Good personality traits: outgoing, easy to get along with, can take charge
Bad personality traits: procrastinates (mostly on schoolwork), lack of trust in himself and others
Mood character is most often in: a perpetual state of amusement
Sense of humor: corny
Character’s greatest joy in life: slowly corrupting Michael’s once-innocent mind
Character’s greatest fear: that Michael will wake up and realize he could do better
Why?: he entertains the notion that Michael is better than him more than you’d think
What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?: See above
Character is most at ease when: Enjoying a sunny afternoon outside
Most ill at ease when: he’s had a fight with someone
Enraged when: those close to him are hurt
Depressed or sad when: he realizes he doesn’t have much of a life goal
Priorities: Michael, sleeping, eating, and somewhere down on that list is actually passing his classes (maybe)
Life philosophy: life’s tough, get a helmet
If granted one wish, it would be: to have three more wishes
Why?: he’s indecisive like that
Character’s soft spot: Little girls. No one knows why.
Is this soft spot obvious to others?: So much it hurts
Greatest strength: ability to cheer up others
Greatest vulnerability or weakness: a well-hidden inferiority complex
Biggest regret: that his parents are homophobes
Minor regret: leeching off Michael’s homework 75% of the time
Biggest accomplishment: various awards for his art
Minor accomplishment: nothing he accomplishes is considered minor in his mind
Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Like anything he does stays private for long *rolls eyes*.
Character’s darkest secret: the torrid affair with his freshman-year roommate that led to his admittance of being gay.
Does anyone else know? : Michael. And Sarah. Oh, and Joana. Plus Shawn. Wait, wasn’t it supposed to be secret?

Goals
Drives and motivations: Michael does a pretty good job of whacking some motivation into him.
Immediate goals: getting past high school
Long term goals: figure out long-term goals
How the character plans to accomplish these goals: who knows

Past
Hometown: Blue Bay, Maine
Type of childhood: relatively happy
Pets: none
First memory: making a snow angel with his mother
Childhood hero: Waldo (he admired the fact that he could never be found)
Dream job: something to do with art
Education: currently a high-school junior
Religion: raised Christian but doesn’t pay it much mind
Finances: whatever he could bribe out of his parents

Present
Current location: Mecadacut Academy/Bar Harbor.
Currently living with: school roommate Allan/Michael’s family.
Pets: none
Religion: see above
Occupation: student
Finances: whatever he can get

Family
Mother: Ariella
Relationship with her: pretty much non-existent
Father: Thomas
Relationship with him: same as mother
Siblings: none

Favorites
Color: orange
Least favorite color: green
Music: whatever’s on the radio; he isn’t picky
Food: most breakfast foods
Literature: anything not for English class
Form of entertainment: movies
Mode of transportation: walking
Most prized possession: the pink Creative Zen Michael gave him for Christmas

Habits
Hobbies: drawing, being a pain in the ass
Plays a musical instrument?: no
Plays a sport?: no
How he/she would spend a rainy day: how WOULDN’T he spend it is the question
Spending habits: not much
Smokes: no
Drinks: no
Other drugs: none
Extremely skilled at: drawing
Extremely unskilled at: being subtle
Usual body posture: relaxed but not quite slouched
Mannerisms: an almost non-existent regard for social etiquette
Peculiarities: that’s a loaded question if I ever saw one

Traits
Optimist or pessimist?: Optimist
Introvert or extrovert?: extrovert
Daredevil or cautious?: daredevil
Logical or emotional?: emotional
Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?: disorderly and messy
Prefers working or relaxing?: relaxing
Confident or unsure of himself/herself?: appears confident, hides inferiority complex
Animal lover?: is indifferent

Self-perception
How he/she feels about himself/herself: generally tries to see self as a good person
One word the character would use to describe self: whacky
One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: Extremely unmotivated bastard who everyone loves anyway. Extremely lucky in most facets of life, not that he believes he deserves it.

Relationships with others
Opinion of other people in general: doesn’t mind them much
Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others?: sometimes
Person character most hates: Jean
Best friend(s): Sarah, Shawn
Love interest(s): Michael
Person character goes to for advice: Sarah
Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Michael, in a way
Person character feels shy or awkward around: yeah, right
Person character openly admires: his Chemistry teacher, Mr. Olsen
Person character secretly admires: Joana (tell that to her and she’d never let you live it down, hence secrecy)
Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Michael
After story starts: Michael

calmingicecream @ 2008-10-19T21:25:00

2008-10-20T01:28:18Z

Ever wondered what I look like?

Story: It Could've Been You

2008-10-16T19:24:14Z

It Could've Been You

I stood in line, waiting for my pizza. Charlotte stood beside me, dressed all in black and looking more suspicious than she intended to. She had told me that we could just order in, since being the adopted son of the richest man in town didn’t make going out easy, but I was tired of being holed up in that house. I had lived basically on the streets for five years; what made them think it would keep me satisfied staying inside?

Charlotte was my best friend. She was also a high-school dropout who had come to work for my father as a maid, doing a lot of the cleaning, laundry, and even cooking. My father, away on a business trip and fully unaware I might try to escape, left Charlotte in charge of me. Not that there was much use. I was nineteen and she twenty-two. She may as well have been my older sister. My older sister that didn’t give a damn what I do as long as I don’t track mud into the house after she’s finished cleaning for the day.

“Why don’t you go outside and get some fresh air, Trev?” Charlotte asked. “It looks like it might be awhile. I’ll wait in here. Just don’t go too far.” I shrugged but nodded.

“All right, I’ll be right out on the sidewalk, then,” I said. Charlotte nodded and turned back frontwards, leaving me to push through the crowd and go outside.

It was the middle of winter, but there wasn’t much snow around. Instead, the roads were covered in disgusting slush that obscured the guidelines. There were a lot of accidents from new drivers around this time of year because, I guess, they didn’t have enough common sense to figure out where they needed to drive without the lines in the middle of the road.

I let my mind wander as I watched the people walk by. Almost all of them were bundled up against the harsh weather, looking like they regretted walking instead of getting a ride to wherever they needed to go. My father seemed to like to complain that I never dressed properly for the cold weather winter always brought. I’d been through worse, though.

“Oh, wait,” I said, suddenly realizing that I needed to give Charlotte the money I had stuffed in my wallet to pay for the pizza. I reached into the pocket of my jeans, only to find it wasn’t there. I frowned and checked the other pocket, but it wasn’t there, either. I looked all around, and my eyes went wide as I spotted someone looking back, then running when they saw that I noticed them.

They had my wallet in their hand.

“What the hell?!” I demanded, running after him. They started running faster, and I picked up speed, only briefly noticing that Charlotte was starting to leave the restaurant. She didn’t have the pizza boxes, so she must’ve seen me.

“Give me back my wallet!” I yelled after the guy. At least, I thought it was a guy; it looked like it from behind. I finally caught up with him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“Lemme go!” he protested, confirming that it was a guy. Or a girl with a really low voice. It was definitely my wallet in his hands; my father had gotten it embroidered with my name. Why, I didn’t know, but I was silently thanking him for it now. He struggled in my grip, and I grabbed the wallet out of his hands. I quickly checked inside and confirmed that my money was still in there.

“And why exactly would you think it’s a good idea to take this?” I asked. The guy shook his head furiously, trying to make it seem like he was innocent, probably. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see Charlotte.

“Trev, let him go,” she said. “You got your wallet back.” I glared at her but complied. The kid was shorter than me by almost five inches, so he actually had to hit the ground before he could start his getaway. I grumbled as I took the bills out of my wallet and handed them to Charlotte.

“Here, for the pizza,” I said. Charlotte just shook her head.

“That could’ve been you two years ago, you know,” she pointed out as we walked back to the pizza place. I folded my arms and looked to the ground.

“I know.”

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I have no idea what this even is, really. It was actually a dream I had (a bit different, mind, but it makes more sense this way, so whatever). Hope you all enjoyed it.

Seriously?

2008-10-16T04:24:15Z

I'm both shocked and apalled. Shocked I could get so many hits, apalled that people are too damn lazy to let me know they're enjoying it. Seriously, over half the people who have it on alert have never reviewed. I like the attention, people. So please. For me?

My Favorite YouTube video :D

2008-10-15T18:39:26Z

Make sure you have the sound on for this. The effect isn't the same without it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGvZa3tiYwY

Yes.

My Desktop

2008-10-07T01:25:11Z

Uh, so, yeah. That's what the desktop on my laptop currently looks like. Just thought I'd post it because I felt like it :P

insert witty title that I can't think of right now here

2008-10-06T00:36:52Z

For anyone who reads this journal and feels the need to read the writing that I said I'd be posting on here but actually have been too lazy to do so, you can check out my FictionPress profile at Miss Mysty. It's almost exclusively Slash stuff, although the people who I know read my journal shouldn't have a problem with that :-P

Also, if anyone plays the MMORPG Fiesta, feel free to give me a poke and I'll relinquish how you can find me on there if you feel like going adventuring, mkay?

That's all for today. Until next time!

Random musings: Snacks for NaNoWriMo

2008-10-05T02:49:31Z

My college has a small grocery store that students can get most any food a college student needs. Meal plans come with points that we can spend at this store, meaning that if we're paying for a meal plan, we basically don't actually have to pay for anything in the grocery store. This is a heavily-snacking NaNoer's wet dream, wouldn't you say?

I actually got to thinking about what snacks I should have during NaNo when I went in there earlier today to get a few things. I got a box of Cheez-Its and two bottles of Lipton iced tea (sadly they don't have white tea there, so I had to settle for black tea, which I don't like quite as much because the flavor isn't as strong as white tea, and friends will attest that I like my iced-tea STRONG). When I went to check out, the woman there (she was probably a student, so about my age, but I'm eighteen and therefore a grownup, thank you) told me about the phenomenon of how, when people love Cheez-Its, they seem to REALLY LOVE Cheez-Its. And it's true! I REALLY LOVE Cheez-Its. And Goldfish crackers. I have a theory that cheese-based cracker snacks have some kind of addictive substance added to them.

So basically, my food consumption for this year will probably go something like this:

Cheez-Its and some form of raspberry iced tea
Realize I should probably have an actual lunch and go to the dining commons
More Cheez-Its
Cook a microwavable pizza and eat it at my desk
Still more Cheez-Its.

My peer mentor mentioned to me that there's a health food store downtown, so I may even spring for some organic fruit or something. I loves me some grapes. Yum.

Some pre-noveling treats!

2008-10-05T01:37:53Z

So I finally indulged in requesting stuff to represent my novel for NaNoWriMo this year. I've got a banner and a book cover that were made for me by other people, and a book cover I made myself because I put in the request right before the huge server malfunction caused the NaNo site to crash, so I wasn't sure if the person would've gotten it.

A banner to go in my forum signature, courtesy of the wonderful and incredibly talented August.

The book cover I requested, courtesy of sas_essay.

And finally, the book cover I made myself. Purrty, ain't it?

I'll probably be posting notes about the story in a later entry.

If Work Is Hell, He Must Be The Devil

2008-10-03T05:22:36Z

Written for Freak-of-Spade’s Ludicrous Monthly Challenge for October.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When my father actually yelled while on-duty at the shop, you knew something was going down. I’d been working at his used car dealership for three years, ever since my freshman year of college. Still, the roaring voice coming from the parking lot, loud enough to hear even from my position behind a barrier of sound-muffling Plexiglas, was not a decibel level that I was used to.

I pulled my earphones out and turned off my iPod. I had been on my lunch break, happily downing the last of my soda. The disturbance my father was causing, however, caused everyone in the main room to look up from their work and stare at the direction it was coming from. Seeing as no one else seem to be willing to go in and break up the fight, I tucked my iPod into a drawer for safe keeping and got up.

A man was yelling at my father about the car he bought breaking down the same day he took it off the lot. My father was yelling something about how we aren’t liable for the cars when they’re taken off the lot.

“Dad, maybe you should calm down,” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from me.

“I’ll calm down when this man figures out that I can’t do anything for him!” he yelled, and I flinched at how loud he was.

“Fine, I’ll go,” the man said. “But I suggest you keep a look-out. I can have this place shut down, you know.” My father glared at the man as he left, and I couldn’t help but share some of his anger. It wasn’t even that he threatened to close us down, but he was being so matter of fact about it, like there was no question that if we didn’t give him what he wanted, we’d be history.

That was how I met Jessie Rangeley.

XXX

Tia was pretty much an unofficial intern at the dealership; she always hung around when summer came, letting school out for the year. She copied paperwork for us and got us lunch from the deli across the street every day. There was never a dull moment when Tia was around.

Today she was wearing a summer dress, so bright and iridescent that you could probably go blind if you stared at it for too long. She had stolen a calculator out of my desk drawer, and she was punching random numbers into it, grinning the entire time. I glanced over to see that she was writing things down on a scrap piece of paper. Just what kind of arithmetic could get her so excited as to be laughing at it?

“Hey, Julius, look!” Tia said, pushing the calculator into my view. 8008 was on the display. I stared at it for about half a minute before I pushed it away and glared at her. “What, you don’t like boobs? That explains a lot about you.” I tapped my pen on the paper I had been filling out; my father had gone to auction the day before and gotten a few new cars, and it was always my job to do the hardcopy of the paperwork to put on file.

Did I mention that Tia REALLY likes me?

“Yes, Tia, I’m as gay as a bag full of Skittlez,” I said, my voice louder than it should have been. “I’m as gay as a pride parade. I’m as gay as a fucking orgy between Freddie Mercury, Clay Aiken, Lance Bass, Billy Joe Armstrong and Oscar Wilde.” Tia was just staring beyond me, and I turned. Jessie Rangeley was standing at the window, looking at me impatiently.

“As much as I’d love to hear about your fantasies, I’m looking for the owner,” he said in a clearly ticked-off voice. My face went red, realizing that he had heard my entire declaration. Tia started giggling.

“Mr. Dearborne is not in yet,” I said. “Can I take a message?” The other man shook his head.

“I’ll talk to him face-to-face,” he said. I narrowed my eyes at his retreating form.

“The owner is my father,” I said. “If you have a question for him, I’m sure I could relay it to him just as well as you could.” Jessie Rangeley abruptly turned back around and gave me the coldest glare I had ever seen.

“Good for fucking you,” he said. “I’ll be back later today to talk with the owner.” He finally left at that, and I glared at his retreating form.

“How OLD is he, five?” I asked. I looked over to see Tia was leaning back in her chair, filing her nails.

“Thirty, actually,” she said. “And I saw you staring at him with lust in your eyes.” I glared at her.

“Yep, just like I saw you putting my keys in the refrigerator,” I said. Tia smiled.

“Yeah, I totally remember… NOT DOING THAT!” she said, pushing out of her chair to stand up and look at me incredulously. I just smiled and went back to my paperwork.

“I told you, Julius, it was Linda!” she tried to defend herself, but I just ignored her. “You are such an asshole sometimes!”

“You only said that because right now, you’re feeling very small inside,” I said, not looking up from the papers. My watch beeped, signaling that it was eleven, and Tia just hmphed and went on her daily mission to get lunch for everyone.

XXX

He did come back. My dad happened to be out at lunch, and he came right up to me, as if the secretary sitting at the front desk didn’t exist at all. I sighed, looking up from the remains of the BLT that Tia had brought me.

“Hello again, Mr. Rangeley,” I said through gritted teeth. I was still technically a public servant, and as such, I had to be on my best behavior. “The owner left for his lunch break, but you’re welcome to go into the waiting area; he should be back soon.” The man just rolled his eyes.

“I know he’s avoiding me,” he said. “That pusillanimous old man.” I rose an eyebrow.

“Pusillanimous?” I asked. “What did you do, rape a thesaurus?” Jessie just stared at me. And then he smirked.

“Rape isn’t my style, kid,” he said.

“Well, I’m glad that’s cleared up, old man,” I retorted. Jessie just gave me a look and proceeded to follow my advice of sitting down in the waiting area.

XXX

Jessie Rangeley was into the dealership almost every day for a month. I was starting to get a headache from constantly associating with that pig-headed man. It was near the end of July, and I had gotten off work and gone straight to drinking. I needed to drown any semblance of thought in my head for a while.

The dusky sky was becoming increasingly obscured by clouds, threatening rain. I quickly made my way into the bar and grill before it could have the chance to rain down on me and make my mood even worse.

I had quietly placed myself on a bar stool and ordered a drink from the bar tender before I realized who was there with me. Jessie Rangeley was sitting just two seats down from me, looking down into his drink as if it could answer all the questions the universe had to offer. I quickly turned away and tried to be quiet so he wouldn’t notice me.

“Are you even old enough to drink, kid?” Jessie asked, and I looked back over to see he was gazing at me. I glared at him.

“I’m twenty-one, old man,” I retorted. My drink was placed in front of me, but I didn’t even notice. “And it’s a good thing, too; drinking is the only thing I have left that would make me forget the hell you put me through every day.” Jessie stared at me, his eyes clouded-over as if he were thinking. Or supremely drunk.

“Well, it’s nice to know you think about me so much,” he said. “If I didn’t hate you by association, I might actually be flattered.”

I watched Jessie stumble into the bathroom, giving me a look over his shoulder. He had to be drunk if he would rather get away from me than find another excuse to yell at me about my father’s louse business practices. The look he gave me wasn’t sitting well on my conscience, though. What the hell had it been?

“You gonna make sure yer friend doesn’t throw up on my floor?” the bartender asked me. I looked over to see he was cleaning shot glasses and looking at the door to the bathroom with interest. Either he was being subtly sarcastic, or he knew something that I was missing entirely.

I finished my drink and pushed the glass forward, wiping my mouth. It might have been the mild buzz I had going, but I didn’t see the harm of going in and checking on him. Hell, he might end up grateful and stop trying to find an excuse to shut down the shop.

“Mr. Rangeley?” I asked, peaking into the two-stall bathroom. I expected to hear retching sounds, but they never came.

Jessie was leaning over the sink, breathing deeply. His shaggy hair was hanging like a curtain over his face, obscuring it. I blamed the buzz for the heat that shot through my body.

“Hey old man, the bartender said not to throw up on his floor,” I said as way of announcing my presence. He looked over at me, and I couldn’t help but notice the same look in his eyes as before. He looked… ravenous.

“What the hell do you care?” he asked, breathing deeply every few words. I finally stepped beyond the door, letting it slam shut behind me. Jessie’s eyes watched it do so, and then they slid over to me.

“You know, I honestly don’t,” I said. “And you obviously don’t want me to, so how about we just forget I was even in here?” I was reaching for the door, but Jessie’s eyes locked on mine, and I stood there, frozen. Jessie’s face was pale, and I hesitantly walked over to him. He flinched back when I raised my hand up to check his forehead.

“What?” he asked. I frowned as my hand came in contact with the hot, clammy skin.

“You’ve got a fever, old man,” I said, shaking my hand and wiping it on my pants. “I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Jessie shook his head, turning back to the sink. “Hey, suit yourself; if you make this floor look like the inside of a Kaleidoscope, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Stop calling me old man,” he muttered. I narrowed my eyes.

“If you gave me some reason to respect you, I will,” I said. “So far all you’ve done is try to screw-over my father and condescended me.” Jessie turned again; he was close enough for me to smell his breath, which was, amazingly, rather minty. Was this guy actually drunk? I was starting to wonder. Outside in the bar, someone had put on a sappy country song on the all but broken-down jukebox. Jessie wasn’t getting any further away from me, either.

Before I knew it, the door directly behind me was flying open against me, pushing me into the older man. The next thing I could comprehend, Jessie was kissing me, roving his tongue around my mouth, and there was a very startled-looking middle-aged man in the doorway. The man left as quickly as he had entered, and I heard him outside saying something about how the bathroom was currently ‘in-use’.

Jessie’s hands were travelling to my shirt, and I finally realized just what was happening. The man who had made my job a living hell for a good part of the month was trying to feel me up in the bathroom of a bar.

He made a satisfying thud when I punched him hard enough to send him sprawling back against the sink.

“What the hell?!” I demanded. Jessie wouldn’t look at me, instead rubbing his back where he had collided with the sink. “You just… you’ve been nothing but an ass to me since I’ve met you and now you’re trying to…” I put a hand up to my lips, and I knew my face was red.

Goddamn. I’m a twenty-one year old man; why is it that all I could do was stutter at him?

“Gentlemen? Are you okay in there?” the bartender called through the door, knocking on it. It wasn’t like it had been locked. Did that man who had walked in on us tell him what he saw?

“Julius, just…” Jessie started, trying to put a hand on my shoulder.

“Get your hands off me, old man,” I hissed. I backed away towards the door, quickly opening it. The bar tender was standing right there, and he gave me a curious look.

I had to get home.

XXX

Jessie was into the dealership again the next day. I was acutely aware that he looked like he had gotten no sleep at all. The fact that he was wearing the same clothes I had seen him in in the bar the previous night didn’t exactly help, either. He was looking around instead of going straight up to me. My father was right there and attempted to talk to him, but Jessie just shook his head. They said something I couldn’t hear, and then Jessie walked up to me.

“Could I have a word with you?” he asked. I rose an eyebrow but nodded. “Privately.” I looked over to my father, who just shrugged. I nodded and led the way into the back room.

“What is it, old man?” I asked, dropping the formalities now that we were out of my father’s range of hearing. I leaned against the door, and Jessie just glared at me.

“I told you last night to stop calling me that,” he said, giving me a scathing look. “I wanted to come here and apologize, but you’re not making it look like a very good option.”

“Well don’t let me stop you,” I said. “I thought you said rape wasn’t your style, by the way.” Jessie stared into my eyes, looking so serious I felt any other scathing remark I had wouldn’t exactly be appropriate right then.

“It isn’t,” he said. “Unfortunately. I get turned on as hell just looking at you, though.” I just laughed, knowing it was some kind of joke at my expense.

“Yeah, right,” I said. The older man bent down to my eye-level, though, and I nervously fidgeted.

Jessie reached a hand behind me and locked the door. Like the night before, I became suddenly and acutely aware of my situation. Unlike the night before, however, I didn’t try to get away.

His lips were on my neck now, and he bit down, making me flinch. Jessie looked at me when my neck tensed, and I kissed him. He pushed me backward until I found myself lying on my back on the raggedy old couch.

“You’re not just doing this to get me to change my father’s mind, are you?” I asked. Jessie looked me right in the eye, that same expression he had in the bar the night before present. Fortunately, I wasn’t cruel enough to stop him at that point. It still felt surreal when Jessie finally reached over to where he had dropped his jacket and pull out a small tube of what was probably lube and push into me after applying it liberally. I hissed at the sharp pain and clutched at Jessie’s shoulders.

“Do you always carry that around?” I asked, looking to where the older man had dropped the tube.

“You’d be surprised,” he said in a breathy voice. There was another sarcastic remark on the tip of my tongue, but it was cut off as Jessie started thrusting into me, hitting just the right spot after a few times and pulling a moan out of me. My eyes went wide and I tried to cover my mouth, but Jessie kissed me instead. Obviously he didn’t care if the people outside heard us. To prove this, he increased the speeds of his thrusts until I screamed his name in release. Jessie’s came soon after, and when he was done, he carefully pulled out. I just stayed laying there, paralyzed from the suddenness of it all and the fact that Jessie was kissing me now. His weight was more heavily on me now, and I could tell that he was tired. He smiled when he saw my flushed face, though.

“Not bad for an old man, huh?” he asked. “Think you can believe me now?” I nodded, even though I had completely forgotten that Jessie had jumped me when I laughed at him for saying I turned him on. We just laid there for God knows how long, Jessie on top and my arms around his shoulders.

“Julius, what’s going on in there?” came my father’s voice. The door handle jiggled, and when it didn’t give, I heard pounding. “What in the world did you lock this door for?” I panicked, but Jessie got off me and handed me some paper towels from by the sink.

By the time my father figured out he could use his master building key to open the door, I was sitting, fully-clothed, on the couch and Jessie had escaped to the bathroom. Tia was behind my father, looking in curiously.

“Oh, hey, Dad,” I said, taking off the earphones to my iPod. “Is something the matter?” My father just looked baffled, but Tia took a step in and looked around.

“Where’s Mr. Rangeley?” she asked. I nodded towards the closed bathroom door.

“He was just leaving, but he had to relieve himself, so I let him use the staff bathroom,” I said. As if on cue, the toilet flushed, the sink ran briefly, and Jessie came out, wiping his hands off on his pants. A smile came over his face when he saw my father.

“Ah, Mr. Dearborne, I was hoping I’d catch you,” he said. He actually had a look of humility on his face, and I was wondering what he was up to. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior over the last month; your son did a good job in making me see what an idiot I’ve been.” Tia clapped happily, but my father eyed me.

“What the hell did you do, give him head?” he asked incredulously. Jessie and I both faltered, but my father was grinning now. “I’m just teasing, Julius. I owe you for ending this, though. I’ll look into giving you a raise when the time comes.” I nodded my thanks, and my father led Jessie out, talking about looking at newer models that had warrantees. Tia stayed behind, though, and she watched me as I walked up to her.

“You have the limp of a man who just took it up the ass. Hard.” Tia was grinning evilly, and I winced.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked, and she just nodded. “Dad is going to kill me if he finds out.” Tia gazed through the door and out the window overlooking the parking lot.

“If Mr. Rangeley doesn’t kill you first,” she said, her voice dripping with suggestion. I ignored her and made my way back to the desk behind the plexiglass barrier. Jessie was there, talking to the woman who worked as the front desk secretary part-time. He seemed to have heard me coming, though, because he looked up and grinned as I winced in my attempt to sit down again.

Smartass.

Random entry time!

2008-10-02T23:38:00Z

Inspired by this video. I've always wanted to make a motivation poster. *feels accomplished*

V for Victory!

2008-10-02T23:34:27Z

To all those watching my journal that don't know, the NaNoWriMo site is back up! It is now time to mercilessly lurk the forums :D

My window

2008-09-30T22:13:05Z

This is the view from my dormroom window right now. As of this picture, there's twenty-two empty bottles of Lipton Raspberry White Iced Tea. An online friend of mine suggested I make a sculpture, and I actually might. I was considering making one of Pikachu, but I'd need more bottles. More on my ventures in the art of bottle sculptures as it progresses.

Introduction Post

2008-09-30T21:45:16Z

Greetings, everyone. This is Calming Sea-Salt Ice Cream, my personal writing journal! I originally created this to blog about my ventures in National Novel Writing Month 2008, but I figured that since this is mine, I can do whatever the hell I want with it!

Basic stats: the name's Joana, I'm eighteen years old and a creative writing major at University of Maine at Farmington. Most of my original writing is Slash, most of my fanfics are not (which is a phenomenon that I to this day don't get). I have a good-sized collection of Yaoi manga, despite being a lesbian (which is another thing I don't get, but oh well).

My fandoms include Trauma Center, Ace Attorney, Pokemon (video games, not anime)Kingdom Hearts and FAKE.

The reason behind my journal name is actually from another account, mystymysts. I posted a fanfic sporking in the Heartless Fics community. At one point, I had the others calm down Kairi with a Sea-Salt Ice Cream bar, and someone commented about "calming sea-salt ice cream". It sounded neat to me, so there you go.

So, I guess that's all, until I have some writing or something to put in here. Until then!